“People are no longer talking to each other; they’re just occupying their different spheres.”
~~President Barack Obama, November 30, 2016
I know this. I feel it. I see it.
I’m at a favorite restaurant. Candles blaze in the quiet intimacy. Good food fills the table. Two people sit at the next table. They aren’t talking to each another. They barely look at each other. Grey haze fills their eyes as they eat their food in separate silences.
A family comes to me for help. Anger consumes their session. Nobody talks. Nobody listens. Conflict rules. They’re fed up. And, alone.
I listen to a person sitting before me describe the impassioned details of a recent argument, with their partner, their mother, or their boss. As the flurry of their words subsides, I ask if these strongly held feelings and perspectives have been shared with their partner, their mother, or their boss. The answer is usually an emphatic, “No! They won’t listen. They won’t get it.”
I get it. We’re divided. Separate. Weak. Alone.
What prevents us from listening to each other? What prevents us from asking a question just because we want to know the answer? We want to connect, to know ourselves within our connections with each other.
Speak. Listen. Don’t assume. Ask questions. Wonder. Share. Step in. Step up.
“Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
What’s going on
What’s going on
What’s going on
Ya, what’s going on
Tell me what’s going on
I’ll tell you what’s going on”
~~Marvin Gaye, 1971